I’m not sure if it’s just me but the end of a dance, however well it’s gone, can often be really awkward. It’s probably one of those typically British situations. You need to say thank you. Compliments wouldn’t go amiss. But it’s hard to make them sound genuine and not patronising.
I’m getting better over time at accepting compliments, but even the correct tone and actions saying thank you feels a little off.
With a bad dance, the thanks is on autopilot, and I’m usually trying to get away as soon as possible. Unless of course, it’s a dance that’s just not gone quite right due to unsuitable music, or just not connecting on that occasion. Then the Britishness and the excuses and apologies come out, usually from both of us.
If it was a nice dance, then a simple thanks does the job. Combined with a pat on the back which is what I seem to default to if there’s no hugging involved. Yes, a pat on the back. It feels odd (and probably looks odder) but that’s usually where my hand finishes.
When it’s a great dance a thanks never seems enough but I always feel weird hugging a stranger. So I end up just muttering, something like ‘thanks, that was a great dance’ or ‘that dance worked so well with the music, what a great track’ and being a bit embarrassed about it. Even though inside, I’m shouting ‘OMG, I loved it, I want to dance with you again and again, I’m going to stalk you everytime we’re at the same dance venue until I get a dance with you’….everything that would be mortifying if someone knew it. Let’s face it, if I said anything like that, I’d never get a dance again.
When there’s mutual love for a dance, I usually find it’s men I dance with regularly where we share it more. Maybe it’s a more comfortable feeling being able to share how you enjoyed it – whether the connection, feeling or music.
I think guys are much better at complimenting me than I am of them. It’s so nice to hear ‘that was awesome’, or ‘I’d love to spin like you, you must work hard at it’ (which does make me laugh a little because I rarely do multiple spins anymore, but it’s still nice to hear), or ‘I loved that dance’.
Maybe I just need to relax a little and find a way to compliment more. I’ve been working on asking people’s names more at dancing, so the next step is complimenting my dance partners in a more enthusiastic way.
How do you finish off a dance? Do you find it easy to compliment your partner? Or do you find it a bit strange when people gush?
P.S. Sorry to all those guys who feel like I’m stalking them for a dance. I try not to, but be honoured that girls like dancing with you so much!